Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
