When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
