i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
