She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
