AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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