I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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