I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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