imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize