my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i now understand why vodka
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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