creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize