I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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