think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
