It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
