just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
