i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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