Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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