That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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