hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
