take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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