how can u be prego again
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
