Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We have started to decorate penises.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
