Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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