She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
