I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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