do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
