Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
