Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
