bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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