i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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