I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
