I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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