Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
