my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize