yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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