Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
