She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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