these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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