How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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