Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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