Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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