she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
