Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
