remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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