I hate your face
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
love makes seman taste better
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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