It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He better not be in your backpack
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
