Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
