Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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