Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
