Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
