I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
