Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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