sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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