so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
