how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize