also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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