I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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