My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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