i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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