My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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