I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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