This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
