you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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