Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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