Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
