Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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