ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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