She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize