it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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