If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
